By: randosteve|Posted on: July 17, 2008|Posted in: Humor | 12 comments
Sorry about the two day post there, but with the Vimeo problems, I wanted to make sure the slideshow got it’s fair share of views.
Well, it’s been a quick start into the heat of the tourist season here in Jackson Hole and Grand Teton National Park and it doesn’t seem like the high gas prices are keeping anyone at home. As usual, the odd, humorous and puzzling questions and comments from the helpless tourists have already been adding up at the shop and are now good enough to share.
(Here’s a link to Part 1 from last summer. Good stuff!)
- Customer: These binoculars make things look smaller. Employee: Mam…those are backwards.
- Customer: What state am I in? Employee: Confusion?
- Customer: What are flip-flops?
- Customer: Can I rent an axe ice?
- Customer: I want to hike on those spiky mountains up there. How do I get to the top?
- Customer: How do bear bells work? Do you ring it when the bear comes at you?
- Customer: Scuse’ me, that’s not the altitude…it’s the depth! Employee: Sir, Jenny Lake is not 6800′ deep.
- Customer: What mountain is the pointy one?
- Customer: Is the Great Teton the one with all the snow on it?
- Customer: Do you have a whisk broom? It’s the ultimate for car camping!
- Customer: Dude, what’s the town down there? The one with all the antlers.
- Customer: What’s this Veilcloud brand all about?
- Customer: What elevation is sea level?
- Customer: Look at all the pretty jump ropes (climbing ropes)!
- Customer: After growing up skiing in Colorado, the snow in the Alps just doesn’t compare!
- Customer: Do Moose east eagles? Husband: Honey! Moose eat fish…right?
Heard some visitors recently discussing the antler arches, when one guy said, “They sure killed a lot of Elk to make those arches.”
And my favorite from my Skinny days: Do you have any of those metal mountain climbing clips?
Here’s the sequence of events I see from most resort town “locals”:
1. East coaster goes on vacation out west.
2. He goes another couple times then decides to move.
3. Gets a job in the only industry in town; the service industry.
4. Complain about how stupid the tourists are.
Dave…you mean cabiners? …or caribeans?
Easy…”Brad”! I’m not complaining…in fact, it’s quite entertaining when we get comments like these. The hard part is holding back the laughter.
What constitutes a “local” anyway?
I just get tired of going into places in mountain towns and getting the “hollier than you vibe”. Ski and bike shops are notorious for that.
When is a local a local? Shit I don’t know, one of my friends grew up in Maui and said he never felt like a local.
My other friend grew up in Monterey, CA and moved to Reno about a year ago. Last time I talked to him he said something about wishing all the Californians would stop moving to NV.
There are too many people who think their knowledge (of anything) makes them superior. I’ve grown pretty comfortable blowing people like that off. It’s unfortunate that they can become an obstacle to learning a new hobby — and don’t forget to add a few camera shop employees to the list of the ‘holier than thou’. That said, I had a very good experience asking naive Dynafit questions to a Skinny Skis employee last Christmas.
…and having worked at a resort town attraction, I can confidently say that people on vacation too often leave their brains at home.
Thanks for the comments Art!!
Just because you’re from the East Coast doesn’t make you clueless when you walk into the mountains. Clueless dolts bring that on themselves. Even before I started climbing/skiing or spent much time in the mountains, I didn’t ask questions as dumb as those listed–and at that point I was like 14 or younger. It’s not about “local” prejudice against flatlanders, it’s about ignorant (or at least semi-ignorant) questions.
Retail is retail. I got some *really* interesting questions working at a well-known chain of outdoor retail stores in the Bay Area. That was good times.
When in worked in an ‘outdoor’ shop in the Peak District of England, i had an old lady ask about the boulder mats we were selling, after seeing people walking of into the hills with ‘beds’ on their backs. I nicely explained they were for sofening landings from climbing small boulders….but she still looked confused.After a pause she asked, ‘What if they fall on their front?’
I couldnt help myself from showing her that they folded in the middle so we could wrap them arround ourselfs, so they would protect our fronts too. She thought they looked a little restrictive, but i persuaded her that it was better than landing on rocks.
not very nice really, but at 16 i thaught it was all very funny. actually i still think its funny…..
I have lived in Wyoming since birth. Been skiing The Winds, Gros, and tetons for 23 years.I welcome anyone from anywhere. I think it is really to bad that people have to prove how “local” they are to justify to themselves that they are not a long term tourist. Jackson has become notorious for this the past few years and it really is sad. In the end we are all here for one thing the love of the outdoors and skiing/snowboarding/climbing, etc. I would advise everyone to really think about where you are from and if it even matters, and try to understand at one point you “I” didnt know everything about the mountain life and outdoor adventure someone tought you and you should do the same. Just my 2 cents sorry if it comes across wrong I am just sick of the 18-30 year old 8 year tourists looking down on everyone tha comes after them someone came before you my friends lets try to respect everyone.
27 year’s Local Bro
Keep up the good work Steve
Derek, Greatly appreciate what you had to say.
Brother, You missed the point! It’s not about being a “local” or proving “local status”. It’s simply a little comedy relief. Much like any stand-up comedian on any stage, anywhere in the world. It makes it a little easier to tolerate things like tourists causing 6 bears to be killed last summer!
Chris, I was not responding to Steve’s post I just found that the comments brought up a good point. I think the article is funny as hell and I have heard my share of crazy Q. However I just wish the valley’s younger generation including lifetime locals would quit with the high and mighty I am so hard core attitude. I hate to generalize cuz I have meet some amazing people here lately that are younger. We all know the type I am referring to and I just wish they would act a little more humble and not act like they have never been a tourist before. I love the post and would love to hear all the dumb shit people say. This is in no way directed at the post it is directed at some of the responses.
YMSB at the fair be there or be square.