Have a good laugh and a great weekend everyone!!! With 6″ of new snow and a base of 80″ at 10k’, I’m heading out to ski some noodley chutes and epic powder today. Thanks to Outside Bozeman Magazine for this one!! If you’ve got a good ski, snowboard or tele joke, please share it with us in the comments section. Ciao for now!
A bucket of chicken can feed a family of four.
What do ski racers use as birth control?
Their personalities.
Where does a telemark skier hide his money from his roommates?
Under the soap.
So blind people can hate them too.
What’s the difference between a government bond and a ski bum?
Government bonds will eventually mature and make money.
What’s the difference between a backcountry skier and a vacuum?
Where you mount the dirt bag.
What’s the difference between a snowboard instructor and a snowboard student?
Three days and an ego.
If you have a car with three snowboarders in the back seat, what do you call the driver?
Officer.
How many backcountry skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb and one to smoke enough pot to make the room spin.
How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw in the bulb and four to stand around and say, “Sweet turns, bro!â€
How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Ski instructors don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.
How many tele skiers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody cares.
Why are most snowboard jokes one-liners?
So skiers can understand them.
What were the skier’s last words?
I think I’ll try snowboarding.
What do you call a ski instructor with no girlfriend/boyfriend?
Homeless.
What did the tele skier say when he ran out of weed?
“Man, these bindings suck!”
Skier A: “Dude, I got these sweet new skis for my girlfriend.â€
Skier B: “Nice trade!â€
A skier walks into the Pour House and says “Hey, you guys wanna hear a snowboarder joke?” The bartender says, “I’m a snowboarder, the guy on your right is a snowboarder, the guy on your left is a snowboarder, and the guy behind you is a snowboarder.” So the skier says, “OK. I’ll tell it a little slower then.”
Thanks For The Laughs, Steve.
You just got sonned!
Drop a knee, Squat to pee.
not really a joke, more of a mantra I suppose…
If a snowboarder is postholeing through the woods, talking to himself, and no one can hear him, is he still wrong?
Free the heel, ski for real
How many Jackson skiers does it take to ski a mountain? 10- One to where the helmet cam, one to take still shots, one to take video, one to talk about how environmentally conscious they are, one to tell everyone how cool they are, one to tell every one else how cool they are not, one to make fun of anyone who skis a different way than they do, one to get pissed that people ski the same way they do, one to say they did it first, and one to sit at the bar and make it sound way more burly than it really was.
I think Lee’s joke takes the cake…
How many tele skiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one but it takes a long time.
Turn fall, turn fall, turn fall.
@Lee
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
golf clap, Lee.
How many tele skies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Tele skies don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags.
“What did the tele skier say when he ran out of weed?
“Man, these bindings suck!â€
^My favorite.
dont forget one to do the head/face plant telemark flop
@mm- YES!
Two guys walk into a bar. How can you tell which one is a extreme skier from Jackson? Don’t worry, he’ll tell you.
“How many tele skiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one but it takes a long time.
Turn fall, turn fall, turn fall.”
This one is my favorite, especially because it’s not a joke !!
Why does it take a tele skier so long to screw in a lightbulb?
Because he makes a turn and falls down…he makes another turn and falls down…he makes another turn….
What’s the difference between God and a Village/Jackson Skier?
God doesn’t think he is a Village/Jackson skier
Ha!
(what, are all you guys from bozeman or something?)
How does a snowboarder introduce himself?
“Sorry, dude!”
Q: What do Tele-Skiers say when they run out of weed?
A: Dude, these bindings suck!
Q:What is the difference between a female ski instructor and a pickle jar
A: you cant fit your fist into a pickle jar
I can’t wait for your next post. I’ve been reading your blogs for a few months now.
How many snowboarders does it take to change a lightbulb? Two one to change the bulb and the other to kick the chair out from under him.