By: randosteve|Posted on: January 14, 2011|Posted in: Humor | 26 comments

rando-and-kittyHave a good laugh and a great weekend everyone!!! With 6″ of new snow and a base of 80″ at 10k’, I’m heading out to ski some noodley chutes and epic powder today. Thanks to Outside Bozeman Magazine for this one!! If you’ve got a good ski, snowboard or tele joke, please share it with us in the comments section.  Ciao for now!

What’s the difference between a snowboard instructor and a bucket of chicken?
A bucket of chicken can feed a family of four.What do ski racers use as birth control?
Their personalities.

Where does a telemark skier hide his money from his roommates?
Under the soap.

Why do snowboarders smell?
So blind people can hate them too.What’s the difference between a government bond and a ski bum?
Government bonds will eventually mature and make money.

What’s the difference between a backcountry skier and a vacuum?
Where you mount the dirt bag.

What’s the difference between a snowboard instructor and a snowboard student?
Three days and an ego.

If you have a car with three snowboarders in the back seat, what do you call the driver?
Officer.

How many backcountry skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb and one to smoke enough pot to make the room spin.

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw in the bulb and four to stand around and say, Sweet turns, bro!

How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Ski instructors don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

How many tele skiers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody cares.

Why are most snowboard jokes one-liners?
So skiers can understand them.

What were the skier’s last words?
I think I’ll try snowboarding.

What do you call a ski instructor with no girlfriend/boyfriend?
Homeless.

What did the tele skier say when he ran out of weed?
“Man, these bindings suck!”

Skier A: Dude, I got these sweet new skis for my girlfriend.
Skier B: Nice trade!

A skier walks into the Pour House and says “Hey, you guys wanna hear a snowboarder joke?” The bartender says, “I’m a snowboarder, the guy on your right is a snowboarder, the guy on your left is a snowboarder, and the guy behind you is a snowboarder.” So the skier says, “OK. I’ll tell it a little slower then.”